Insanity
by LiNkINPaRkBaBe616
Summary: Tifa: A 16 yr old who is a craized murderer. Cloud: criminal psychologist in training. Would she stop killing? Could Cloud help her?


My Pain  
  
By: LiNkInPaRkBaBe616  
  
Author's note: This story is in Tifa's POV.  
  
Death is calling for me, its screaming out my name. I want to run to it, no one is holding me back. I'm scared at the same time, what will happen when I perish of the face of the earth? Where would I end up, heaven or hell? Is there even such a thing as that? What if there isn't any and I end up on this place that I am stuck on now? So many questions that no one can answer.  
  
I have no friends or family. I am a nobody, I'm nothing to people. I'm just here for god's entertainment, for his own sick and twisted pleasure. He should know that I would and could end my life any moment now, I bet you he's just waiting for that day to come. That day when I just jump off the Empire State Building or the day that I would just shove myself into a gear at a factory and let it grind me into a million pieces, anyone one of it. He's having fun at my pain, my pain of not knowing where I belong. The pain of him taking my parents away from me in a horrible death. The pain that no one wants to hear my pain and all these feelings that has built inside me ever since I was 6.  
  
The day my parents were alive I would never forget, I was such a happy little kid I had many friends and was never alone. I was loved by someone, now I have forgotten that feeling, that feeling of love and knowing that someone would always be there for me. Now this feeling, this feeling of hatred, this feeling of death because I have nothing to live for. Is this what you wanted god? Is this what you hope me to turn out? I would of never had been this way if it wasn't for you! Why did you do this to me? The world is an evil place, everyone should share my pain. They should know what I feel.  
  
The only thing that I have from my childhood was this locket. The locket my mother gave to me for my birthday. The locket that she gave me out of love, her picture was on it along as my father's. I miss them so much, if only they were here with me, to guide me, help me, yell at me for doing something wrong, praise me when doing something right.  
  
Why do people torment me so? No one appreciates what they have until there in my position. Everywhere I go, little kids screaming because they didn't get what they want. Someone should set them straight; no one knows the pain till they experience it. Especially when I experienced it at the age of 6. I was to little to know what was death, to know the feeling of hatred, to little to build up this much anger, so much anger that I want death. God, why don't you just kill me now? Do you want me to suffer even more?  
  
The world is a sickening place. A place that no one should have to be apart of. A place that is run by people that you can't trust. A place that people may say they care but really don't. They just sit on their Asses and just talk a whole bunch of bullshit on how to make the world a better place for everyone. How about help out kids that are less fortunate and don't have families, do you care for us asshole? Do you? I don't think so, I was on my own ever since the day of the accident, I went to my friends for help all they did was shut me out. People do that when they don't want to hear your bullshit, they just close the door in front of your face. You can't trust anybody in this world. You think you know the world well enough, you think the world loves you. Sorry to smack you in the face with the truth but it doesn't, things like this could and would happen to you anytime.  
  
My life is like a hell, it sucks in all the bad. I will never be happy again. I have been beaten with the truth so many times I don't even want to think about it anymore, but its me your talking about. I don't know what to do with this anger. Where should I put it?  
  
No one helps me, I go to school and have to hear people tease me and make fun of me just because I have only one pair of clothing on me. I have gone crazy just listening to them talk. I would end up having a fight with every girl everyday because they talk to much fucking shit and don't know how to shut the fuck up. It happens so much I just dropped out. So now I'm a girl with no hope, no life, no love, no family, no friends, no money, no home, no nothing.  
  
Every time I try to tell myself I'm not alone, I am somebody, someone would notice me. I know I'm lying to myself, I am alone, I ain't nobody and no one would notice me. I try to shut myself from the truth, I don't want to hear it. I can't bear the truth, it's just to hurtful. It reminds me once more that I am alone. And it kills me everytime, I don't want to be alone, it hurts to know that no one cares what happens to you, where you end up, nobody guiding you to do your best in school academically so you would be rich when your older and someone believing in you.  
  
I hate this world that we live in. I hate everyone that lives in this world. I hate god, especially ever since the day my parents died. They died because of him, I'm alone because of him, everything horrible that happened to me was because of him. I'm still trying to figure out what did I do to deserves this I'm only 16. I didn't do anything to deserve this I was always good and did everything I was told.  
  
Come to think of it, it really isn't my fault. I didn't make them die. Its god and others peoples fault for my parents to die. The world is filled with assholes, no one cares for other peoples feelings or how it emotionally it could really kill them or how it would make them end up. No one cares, I'm left all alone because people want the pleasure of seeing innocent teenage kids suffer. People want to see other people suffer but why me?  
  
Author's note: Wow..that took a lot of anger out of me. lolz. Well anyways people plz review my story and I will update. PLZ! 


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